Adios, Cinco de Mayo

Returning guest blogger Sunny Frazier, whose first novel in the Christy Bristol Astrology Mysteries, Fools Rush In, received the Best Novel Award from Public Safety Writers Association, is here to bemoan the current inability to properly celebrate Cinco de Mayo today.

The third Christy Bristol Astrology Mystery, A Snitch in Time, is in bookstores now.   //

This year we’ve all had to forgo celebrations because of a worldwide pandemic. St. Patrick’s Day we went without green beer, Easter we saw empty churches. Today is May 5 and we can’t celebrate with a crowd toasted on tequila. All because of a virus named after a favorite Mexican beer. Oh, the irony!

Most people think Cinco de Mayo celebrates the Independence of Mexico. If you want to do that, get ready for September 16. No, today is honoring the Battle of Puebla. In 1862, Mexico was in a war with France. That’s right, Napoleon III sent an army over to get the locals in line and pay the back dues from trade. Would it be racist to call it a “Mexican Stand-off?” Because that’s what the 5 year altercation was. And this was the 2nd time the two countries were at war.

(Just think, if the French had won we’d be drinking champagne instead of Corona and eating crepes instead of carne asada. If a fence was built it would be to keep Americans out.)

Speaking of Corona, there are ignorant people who refuse to drink the brand because of the connection with the virus. THERE IS NO CONNECTION. There is, however, a connection between wearing masks and the virus. And if you’re wearing a mask you can’t drink anyway.

I found stats that say Americans spend $750 million on beer during the week of Cinco de Mayo. We drink more tequila than any other nation. We eat 80 million avocados a year, much of it in guacamole. In 2005, Cinco de Mayo officially became a U.S. holiday. They also celebrate the day in Australia, Malta and the Cayman Islands. Surprisingly enough, Mexico considers it a minor holiday and wonder what the fuss is about.

But, this year is different. If you want tacos and tequila or beer and burritos, better call Chub Hub or Uber Eats. Listen to music on a Spanish station and dance the salsa. Or eat the salsa. Let your hair down and your prejudices. Have a Zoom fiesta with friends.

Pray that next year will be different. Vaya con dios, mi amigos.