A Major Production
A Barney Moon, P.I. Mystery Thriller
Thomas B. Sawyer
Tom Sawyer Productions, Inc., April 2018
What could be an entertaining caper story is marred by inattention to formatting and editing details. Barney Moon is an irascible New York private investigator sent on a case to Los Angeles, his least favorite city. Since he doesn’t drive, he teams up with college student Melodie Seaver, who drives him while he investigates an inept scheme by a couple of disgruntled federal agents, the murder of a mobster’s wife, and a threat to Barney himself.
The reader is distracted by the unconventional punctuation and formatting. Business names and agencies are italicized, generic nouns are capitalized, and some words are both italicized and underlined. There is an overly generous use of hyphens, dashes, and ellipses. Compound nouns are hyphenated, as are some nouns and their modifiers. Some of this can be explained by the author’s background, which includes many years of screenwriting. Emphasizing words by italics and bolding may be a common practice in screenwriting, but it’s not the norm for novel readers, who can find it distracting. There are also numerous other errors which should have been corrected in proofreading. Not recommended.
Reviewed by Susan Belsky, October 2018.