Cyber-Sharing Real Life

Sunny Frazier, mystery author and acquisitions editor extraordinaire,

is here today to share some news of a personal and painful nature.

The Internet has done powerful things in our lives. We are connected and involved with each other although strangers in the physical sense. Lelia, who has supported me from the start of my career, is generously allowing me to use her blog to spill personal news affecting my life.

I found out a few months ago that I have to have dialysis. Luckily, the VA is footing the bill (your tax dollars at work!). This is the result of being poisoned by cat flea medicine in 2004. I lost one kidney then and now the other is going. Think about that, pet owners!

Anyway, the VA delivered the news in the non-emotional, matter-of-fact way we who have served are used to. Sort of a “Suck it up, sailor,” attitude. No tears allowed when you are surrounded by vets who have lost limbs in wars gone by and ones in progress.

I came home and did what writers do: I wrote clever lines that I could deliver if people wanted to feel sorry for me.

“Hey, don’t get all awkward on me!”

“Go tilt at your own windmills. This one’s mine.” (for the literary types)

“Welcome to the secret circle. We have a handshake, but it involves blood.”

“You know you’re giving me an opening to play martyr, right?”

“Now that I’m in dialysis, my dislike of vampires has increased ten-fold.” (I’m especially fond of that one.)

The man in my life said I was being hostile. Maybe he’s right. I’m not sure what the proper response is, I’ve never read it in an etiquette book. What would Miss Manners do? Fortunately, Pat Canterbury in Sacramento has been through this and is mentoring me as to what to expect. She is my life-line.

So, there it is, on the table. I have been through surgery and have a nice gash on my arm where they  expanded my veins for the procedure. Luckily, a new center was just built down the street from me. I’m going to go a few times and see what the cool kids are wearing, what kind of toys they bring to amuse themselves for hours. I plan to read manuscripts and get work done. I won’t be going to conferences and conventions much anymore. I will miss the fun.

I’ve always enjoyed being a couch potato, now I can be a recliner potato. No more guilt for not jogging or exercising regularly. I’m eating candy until they tell me it’s bad for me. I’m going to use dialysis as an excuse to get out of things I really don’t want to do, like go to weddings. I mean, who is going to argue with THAT?

One of my favorite quotes is “Life is a tragedy for those who feel, a comedy for those who think.” Horace Walpole. I can’t help if I find humor in dire circumstances. I’m already thinking of how to write a kidney-challenged character in my next book.

I didn’t blog to garner sympathy and I hope you chuckled with me along the way. But, if there is a serious message in my words, it’s this: Don’t piss away opportunity, talent or time.

56 thoughts on “Cyber-Sharing Real Life

  1. Oh, Sunny, I`m so sorry to see this. I think your positive attitude and sense of humor will guide you through this. My prayers are with you.


  2. Okay, Sunny, this is not the best news in the world but you are certainly handling it as well as can be expected. I think you’re brave announcing it like this–but I also know you well enough to realize that whatever happens, you’ll rise up and do those things that you want to do most. (But you do need to tell you sis.)



  3. Sunny, although we’ve never met physically, I consider you a good friend and I wish I lived nearby so I could be of some use to you as you begin to adapt to this new direction your life is taking. You’ll do just fine, though—you’ve got the gumption and the humor to see you through. Thank you for coming here to share your news with us 😉


  4. Sunny, pulling for you! It’s hard to imagine what you’ll be going through but we know you’ll be fighting (and joking) every step of the way. Wishing you good thoughts and prayers.


  5. I’m sorry, Sunny. Please get well and back to normal as fast as you can.

    I echo the sentiment of your message. My wife has been diagnosed in the last few days with very advanced Non Hodgkins Lymphoma. We should the name of the exact version under that umbrella on Monday when she starts chemo.


  6. Oh, Sunny, Susan and I are so sorry. This email got buried while we were doing Shakespeare readings, having a houseful of people at Thanksgiving, preparing for a wedding, and getting Christmas underway, and I only just opened it today. You’ve been an inspiration for so many people. We love you, and we’re sending you healing energy.


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